January 5, 2016

What Can We Learn From Celebrity Breakups?

What Can We Learn From Celebrity Breakups

The very first thing we learn about celebrities is that they have a lot of options that we don’t have, but that’s not always a good thing. The second thing we learn is that they have issues just like us except everything they do is so public.

So, why did Arnold mess around with the maid when he had Maria? One would think that if you had a wife like her that it would be enough to keep you faithful.

But then who knows what goes on behind closed doors or closets. All these public humiliations lead us to one conclusion. Life is not simple, especially for the rich and famous.

In the end the same rules apply. If we get lonely, we reach out.

If we stop communicating or can’t seem to get close to our partner or better yet if we just can’t say no to all that temptation, then we get into trouble.

When Kim Kardashian got married I doubt if she was thinking that in 72 days I will go through a public drubbing after my marriage ends and I subsequently get bashed both my the press and my former husband.

Where do I sign?

Whatever her motives for marrying this schlemiel, it didn’t play out well and she suffered the slings and arrows of her outrageous fortune.


So why do all these celebrities who are living the dream make their lives into a nightmare?

Why did Lindsey Lohan throw away a perfectly good career to become a jailbird and pose nude for Playboy?

What ails Lindsey are the same things that drive us all to do things we later regret.

I’m sure that Ashton Kutcher is not thrilled with what people think about his dalliances.

Could he really help himself with all those women throwing themselves at him?

It takes a lot of maturity to stand up to that. Paul Newman had it goin’ on in his day and yet stayed faithful to Joanne Woodward and so did a lot of other famous people who had the same opportunities.

This all goes to show us that good self control, good values, and an intimate satisfying relationship are the best preventions for going down the path toward ruination.

The trouble lies in how we get there.

The old adage that the road to hell is paved with good intentions is certainly the way relationships begin. Where do we go wrong?

We go off the rails because we forget what we did when we were courting.

We stop being courteous, kind, understanding, empathic and compassionate; instead we become some darker version of our dysfunctional family and start applying the same principals to our new relationship, with the same outcome, usually not the best way to go.

So what have we learned here?

Don’t mess with the nanny, once a cheater always a cheater, 72 days does not make a marriage?

Truth be told it’s none of those things.

It’s about the way we choose to live and who we want to be in the world, what kind of husband, friend, brother, son, father do we want to be?

Feeling like the rules don’t apply to us is a big mistake, betrayal is never a good option, it always fails.

If not in the world then for sure when we look in the mirror.

Is that who we want to be, tabloid fodder?

About the Author

Dr. Bill Cloke author of Happy Together: Creating a Lifetime of Connection, commitment and Intimacy has been a couples’ therapist for 30 years.

His passion is to help both individuals and couples lead more fulfilling lives and relationships by learning essential relationship skills. He received a master’s degree in education from the University of Southern California and holds a PhD in psychology from California Graduate Institute.

A frequent talk-radio psychologist, he is also a contributor to PsychologyToday.com and other popular websites and has lectured at UCLA.

Bill Cloke lives with his wife in Los Angeles, where he works with couples, families, and children from a cross-section of cultures. To learn more about Bill Cloke, and for more resources on creating healthy, happy relationships, visit www.billcloke.com.

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