February 10, 2016

Dating and Scared To Get Hurt Again

Dating and Scared To Get Hurt Again

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In this video, Allana answers a question from a gentleman who wonders if his new dating-site relationship is sufficiently “real” to board a plane and go to meet her in person.

Is this a trend?

Do you frequently launch relationships with people who are remote or far away because you’re afraid to get hurt? This is fairly common with the advent of the internet, and it is not always a bad thing, but if you’re so afraid to get hurt that you are denying nearby potential partners the opportunity to know you, you may need to understand that all relationships are dangerous. While it may seem ‘safer’ to interact with somebody who isn’t close, or real, and/or so potentially dangerous, long distance relationships make it difficult to establish a genuine intimacy in which your vulnerabilities are shared and, ultimately, respected by your partner.

You WILL be disappointed again.

Being a part of a relationship absolutely insures that you will be disappointed, hurt, and even broken hearted by the actions of your partner. People are human and given to speaking/acting before they think about the consequences. Disappointments come. The key is not to build a wall around yourself to fortify and barricade the way to your heart. The secret is to nurture and grow the inner you in order to withstand the disappointments that will, inevitably come.

Safety is never found on the outside.

If your goal is to protect your soul – or as Allana expresses it, that little one inside your heart – from hurtful things, you must begin by taking responsibility for being your own heart-guard. You must work at becoming able to seek out the people who help you, and the little one inside your own heart, to be safer and happier. You must empower yourself to ignore those who do not enrich your life and to migrate toward those who do.

In any relationship one must expose himself to disappointment. The way you approach intimacy with another must involve conscious effort to understand that your security, your safety lives within you and is not the responsibility of anybody else. Your efforts to give the ‘little one inside your heart’ the confidence to reach out will be rewarded, but it might take some time and courage.

About Allana Pratt

Featured on CBS, TLC, FOX; coach to celebrities, a cum laude graduate of Columbia, Allana’s a single mom who triumphed over an internal war of body shame and sexual guilt that was destroying her confidence, joy and softness. Now, author of three books, she pole dances for pleasure, and knows ‘When Mama’s happy, everybody’s happy!’ She inspires women to embrace their sacred erotic nature to attract all the love and attention they choose; she heals men’s emasculated hearts, cures their ‘nice guy’ and awakens their noble badass honoring of women.

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